lalalas~~ i'm so bored now. finished naruto manga already. took me abt a wk but still.. finished it already. the twist and turns quite interesting but now i'm bored again. hais. sians :( think i will start on bleach ba. but not yet. hahas. gonna start on my hw. afterall, i'm GUAI(:

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i'm straight (:

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wee~ today is the last day of school. did basically nothing in school. hahas. anyway. i'm currently bored! hahas. decided not to go out with selina, lynette and kimkim as well as not go for bowling. so i'm fucking bored now. but doesn't matter. hahas. i'm reading naruto now. hahas. i just started yesterday and i'm currently at chapter 67. WEE~ hahas. i'm getting mad. and holidays are BORING!! sad man. i have to go back to sch for bridging :'(

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my results 4As not enuff izzit? is it that fucking difficult to compliment me? why the hell do u set all this fucking high standards for me? i tried my best liao. and my results are comparatively high liao. can't u fucking say i did well? why do u have to treat my results like shit. i was so proud of it lar. fuck u! why can't u give me a little compliment? this is not the first fucking time such thing happen. is it that difficult to give ur daughter the compliment that she fucking deserve?

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fun(:

got back the rest of my results today. sort of bittersweet lar. my chem scored quite well. chinese still okay. but a maths really fail like shit lar. my class got like 20 ppl F9 lor. so pro rite? sad!! if i scored well for my a maths or phy i would have been really really happy. hahas. but hais.. i guess we can't have everything...

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sometimes i have so much to say but i can't find any audience to listen to me. but when i have an audience, i can't seem to say anything. so pathetic don't you think? if only i can make sense of whati'm feeling, what i want to say and what i should say.. things would be so much easier. i'm so tired of hiding everything. so tired saying what people expect me to say. i'm so sick of it all. so sick of me. i hate my own attitude, my own guts. i hate myself. i allow myself to think of things that i know would never come true. thoughts that will and can hurt me. i want to stop, i want to forget. but i can't. i just can't...

ha. i'm so fucking pathetic. cutting is my only escape. it has always been. the lies i make for cutting is just a pathetic attempt to disguise the sad fact that i can't survive on my own.

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lalala. got back my a maths and phy today. a maths failed as expected. but still.. very sad ar. didn't think i will fail so badly. almost cried but did something to stop myself frm crying. very no mood sia. hais. anyway. passed phy. unexpected. hahas. but i got like 53? barely passed nia. hais. got back the rest of my eng too. i passed (: and someone told me i got 36 for my hist. tie with kim. second in lvl. hahas. and i was told everyone were looking at my SBQ and were saying that i write bloody short but got 17. hahas. i want my bloody paper!! hahas. lols. sad for my a maths but the rest still quite ok lar. hahas.

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i'm mad. hahas. instead of studying on sun i went to help arina with the door to door flyers. i went to 4 blocks. first 3 blocks have 17th floor and i went down the block 6 times. the last block got 25 floor. mon my leg like wanna break liao. haha. mon had a maths and i'm most likely going to fail. so yar. dun talk abt it :'( aft the exam went to buy joey's present with kenny and grace. aft tt went to shenyee's hus play basketball. went there at 2 and stayed until arnd 8.40. lols. went i reach home my legs lke jelly lar. hais. today got back e maths, chinese letter writing, ss de sbq and eng compre and summary. passed all except for my chinese letter. so sad!! but suan le. anyway. i'm think i will fail my a maths and my phy. and i will fail badly *sob*

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wee~ had exams for this whole week. i'm confident tt i will pass all my papers except phy. hahas. so sian lar. phy so diff :'( hais. anyway. had fun this past week. mon and tues went to study with von and christ. wed went out with selina lynette and geraldine to whitesands. today went out with them again but went to tampines mall and tampines library instead. LOL. went to borrow books since we are only left with 1 paper and it is on mon. hahas. slack there. den went to tampines mall. LOL. had fun ar. hahas (:

i feel so frustrated watching you from a far. i don't want this. i want to talk to you. but i lack the guts to. i'm so god damn pathetic.

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